users online BbichiefFuKK
[Kpopper since 2007 - Present]

In my 20s.Nov16.Lady
-Has eyes on EXO currently-
-Top Bias, Kai-

-Loves the Sky-
-Loves Solitude-
-Loves Books-
-Loves Animes-
-Loves Black&White-

I should die

Met my psychiatrist yesterday.

I still don’t feel so good.

People die from Depression.

The actor killed himself because of it, others did the same too. Depression could not be cured sometimes.

I was sick for weeks thinking I have the fever but the doctor told me I wasn’t sick.

I was severely Depressed/Stressed and my body was just shutting down.
I fainted and got a bleeding toe from it, I tripped and sprained my ankle…..all from thinking too much. I get headaches and my body just loses energy in a blink of an eye.

I’m depressed….to a point of even smiling makes me sad. Nothing makes me happy now. Nothing.

I don’t want to die, I love and care for my family too much to make them grieve for my passing. But sometimes I want to die, so badly. Suicide is not the answer, so I just keep it all inside and let it eat me alive.

My body is shutting down, my body wants to stop working.

I’m not scared anymore. I’m not scared of anything anymore.

I’m going to get a fucking heart attack because of that 50 bucks.

Fucking asshole FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need to stab someone in the ballsack because FUCKING MAN STOLE THE 50BUCKS FROM ME FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!

How long…
How long more can I endure this?

I feel like my insides are dying slowly, painfully. Melting off.

A clinic doctor diagnosed me with Depression symtoms. I didn’t even realize it myself that I was suffering. I thought I was tired from work.

I don’t know if I could do this anymore, I can’t stand breathing a second more.
My world is crashing down and I’m just standing here watching it while holding on my little string of hope that is my family.

If they’re not here, I wouldn’t be as well. They’re the only ones keeping me alive.

Went to the doctor yesterday thinking i got the fever or something.

Doctor diagnosed me with stress/depressed and should meet with my psychiatrist to see what she could do to help me.

It’s not parents or friends that said to meet my shrink. A doctor told me to make an appointment with her.

I thought i was ok…..

I’m turning into a heart breaker. What the hell with all the guys right now? What hypnotic odor am I giving for them to all want to ask me out??????????
I have to turn them all down cause I’m not over my ex yet. I’m still broken. I’m so stressed/depressed/going crazy.

You treat me bad, I’ll treat you worse.

When you’re nice to me, I’ll treat you like a King/Princess.

I’m never evil, the kind that likes to keep something that you know is valuable to their Ex.

But he handed me once, this Bike jacket that he said he wants to pass to his children. *Add evil voice and smirk* I’m keeping that.
Not that I want it or want to sell it. I just want to keep it so he CAN’T give his future kids.

I’m selling the Agnes B necklace he gave me and giving away the Helmet he bought for me to my niece. But the jacket is a keeper. Assholes shouldn’t be happy.

I don’t think people love me. They love versions of me I have spun for them, versions of me they have construed in their minds. The easy versions of me, the easy parts of me to love.

I’m changing for the better and have endless support from people that I thought didn’t care.
They are even teaching me.
People see me while that one that I want to see me treat me as invisible but I pray to god to calm my broken heart everyday. Pray for help to not lose my mind and slowly, he’s bring me back to him, to my right path. He is the greatest.